Problems children may experience and what to do about them
Falling out with friends
This is very common as children form new friendships and new ‘pecking orders’ are established. Give advice but don’t overreact – the tears and anger are normal but most friendship patterns sort themselves out without adults getting involved. Contact the school if your child becomes depressed or severely withdrawn over this for more than a couple of weeks, or if you suspect that what is happening may be bullying.
The hallmarks of bullying are intentionality (a deliberate attempt to make someone unhappy); persistence (i.e. an ongoing ‘campaign’, not isolated incidents or arguments about specific issues) and an imbalance of power (if the perpetrators are older, bigger more powerful or if they are operating as a gang against an individual). By law the school must have an anti-bullying policy.
Worrying about particular lessons or feeling ‘picked on’ or disliked by certain teachers
Try to find out what it is exactly your child is worried about or why they dislike a certain teacher or subject. If it is because the work is too hard (or too easy), try to spend some time working with them on the subject. It does take time for new teachers to find out an individual’s strengths and weaknesses. Contact the school if your child continues to find the work too easy or too hard after half term or so, or raise it at parents’ evening.
If it is because they feel ‘picked on’ it may be the teacher’s individual style which your child is taking personally. It is a life-skill to learn that you won’t get on with everyone you have to work with and a pragmatic approach is to be recommended. Advise them to smile a lot at this teacher and see if it makes a difference! Make sure homework is done well for this subject. Do try not to run down the teacher in front of your child – this invariably makes the problem worse.
Contact your child’s tutor if the problem continues. Ask to meet with the teacher concerned if necessary and talk to them about the problem. Many teachers are not even aware there is a problem. You do not have to let your child know you have done this – they are often amazed by how ‘nice’ Mr. X has suddenly become….
Losing Belongings
This is very common for children with organisational difficulties (and very expensive for their parents). Follow the suggestions in the chapter on ‘Organising books and equipment’. If after half a term this is not making a difference, contact your child’s tutor and ask for their support – they can often provide ‘checks’ at key times and be very creative in supporting your child towards independence in school.
Getting into trouble for not completing homework
In many ways, homework makes the most demands on both Y7 pupils and their parents. Follow the suggestions in the ‘Homework’ page.
If your child is consistently not getting homework (over a period of five or six weeks), not able to do the homework set, or writing down tasks that are so general that neither you nor they can work out what has to be done, do contact your child’s tutor and explain the problem. If nothing changes, ask for a meeting with the teacher concerned.
